I'll Always See Through The Mask You Wear
by espada crocs
Summary: Nanao could always tell when Kyouraku was in pain. She would always stay right by his side all through the worst fazes of their lives till death did them part.
1. chapter 1

For as long as she'd known him, Kyouraku taichou was always in pain.

The first time she grew aware of it was the day her senpai went missing.

She had been much smaller then, the smallest shinigami in her division. Well aware of her privileged position she was determined to work twice as hard as everyone else so as not to shame their division's prestige.

It was tough but whenever things seemed too difficult, Yadamarou senpai was always there to give her a helping hand.

The Vice-captain of the eight division, Yadoumaru Lisa, she was strong and confident in her own abilities standing above all her peers. She even earned the squad captain's respect and a place in Nanao's heart. Nanao felt she shared a bond with the squad's vice-captain. They almost shared the same physical features, even the glasses they wore on their face. Nanao wondered if she'd ever grow her hair out as long as Yadoumaru senpai's. Lisa was an inspiration and Nanao was encouraged by her presence and sometimes strict advice concerning the captain, but the best times she spent with her squad vice-captain was when she would read to her………..

Clomp…..clomp…..clomp…..

It had been one those nights when Nanao came to main barracks to search for her senpai. She felt slightly nervous and considered turning back, however the sound of approaching footsteps soon reached her ears.

She'd turned expecting Yadoumaru senpai but found herself face to face with the squad's captain instead.

He paused in surprise at seeing her unaware of how flushed she felt standing before the captain of the squad….alone!

''Let's see'', he smiled as he approached her. ''You're Ise Nanao chan aren't you?''

H-h-h……he knows my name!

''R-right!'', she answered quickly ungluing her tongue from the roof of her mouth. ''I am honoured that you remember my name''.

''Well'', he'd laughed. ''You're the youngest person in my squad and you see I like to note all the young ladies' names. And besides you always come pay me a visit once a month….. Oh! That's right, today's the first…''.

He even remembered her reading patterns, she thought ducking her face as she fidgeted with the book she'd picked out.

''Hai, so I was hoping I could read together with Vice-captain Yadoumaru again this month'', Nanao mumbled nervously.

''I see'', he said looking slightly put out for her sake. ''But I'm sorry…. Lisa chan isn't here tonight''.

''Why not?'', she'd asked surprised for there was hardly a time when Vice-captain Yadoumaru was away from the captain's side.

''She's doing an important job'', was his answer and Nanao found herself partly disappointed that Lisa would miss their books reading and partly concerned for her.

''She's okay'', the Captain assured her. ''She'll be back by dawn. I guarantee it''.

Then, in her innocence, she hadn't realised Kyouraku taichou was trying more to assure himself than he tried to soothe her pains. He had an uncanny ability for sensing when something was about to go very wrong.

Yadoumaru san……never returned from her mission.

The division suffered a heavy blow at her loss and they'd miss her sorely but one was more put out about it than the captain himself.

Of course he would make a joke here and there about how Lisa would kick all their butts if she found out they were slacking off mourning instead of fulfilling their duty to the Seretei. They drank a toast to the vice-captain and everyone was free to visit the grave erected for her before resuming their daily activities. The captain however never seemed to recover from her death.

She would see him engage in conversation with Ukitake taichou from time to time but even that couldn't put a real smile on the captain's face. Though he tried to look strong for everyone else Nanao could tell he was bleeding on the inside.

On the first of the new month, 30 days after Lisa's passing, Nanao found herself by habit before the captain's barracks once again. Sure enough, just like 30 days before Kyouraku taichou wasn't asleep. She doubted he'd been getting any sleep after the tragedy that took Lisa away. She would later find out the vice-captain's passing scarred their captain so much since he'd been the one to send her to her death.

''Ise Nanao chan'', he whispered.

He lay on the roof as always, for some reason the captain really liked snoozing above the ground. At times Nanao wondered why it was so but later accepted it as one of those things that made Kyouraku taichou, Kyouraku taichou.

''Kyouraku taichou'', she murmured in reply staring up at him, into those sad lonely eyes.

''You came for your book reading didn't you, Nanao chan'', he murmured sitting up, the wind catching his long wavy brown locks. She rarely ever saw the captain without his trademark brown hat. He looked much younger sitting there hurt…and alone.

For a while she found herself lost in those soft brown pools for recalling where she was and who she was talking to.

''G-gomen nasai (I'm sorry). I-I'll leave now'', Nanao said hurriedly turning to the gate to make a run for it.

''Matteyo (wait), Nanao chan'', the captain whispered and she froze turning to him in surprise but curiousity.

''You don't suppose you could read with me, do you?'', he smiled. ''I'd hate to disappoint a sweet young lady such as yourself. Come, read to me''.

''Hai taichou'', she said realising she'd been commanded for the first time by her captain though it had really been just a simple request.

She joined him on the roof and she read to him just as Vice-captain Yadoumaru had done for her hoping that somehow Lisa was giving her strength…giving both of them strength and the courage to survive without her. She was nervous about reading to the captain but her words did not falter neither did her tone. She kept her pronunciation in check as well trying as hard as she could to imitate Lisa from the memory of all the time they'd spent together. The Captain looked much more peaceful by the time the book was almost completed and she couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking about Lisa as well or if he was even aware that she was the one beside him.

Such small matters could become their concern once the story was drawn to a close and lost the winding magic she cast over herself, the captain and Lisa's memory. If it was all she could do to soothe the captain's pain, then she would do it to her very best.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The captain was always in pain. Sometimes it seemed the fates enjoyed being cruel to Kyouraku taichou for every time he gained one thing he lost another.

Soon assigned vice-captain of the eight division Nanao had to work double time, both to keep the division in shape and her lazy captain in order. It was a full time job. As expected of course, Kyouraku san hardly ever left alone and did not send her on missions he could not accompany her to. It was obviously a repercussion for Lisa's tragic fate but she bore it gladly if it would at the very least soothe his pains.

Kyouraku taichou recovered easily enough given the amount of time after Lisa's demise. He turned his focus to other aspects of his life which he deemed important. This included his division, herself, and Ukitake taichou.

The old sickly captain was a close friend to the head of her division and they spent a lot of time together. Having graduated together as the very first captains ever to be formed in the seretei they had a lot of history and their friendship was expected. But Ukitake taichou's health was very very poor.

He would go into attacks from time to time that would leave him as weak as a dying kitten at times though in battle he was as strong as a horse. There was the constant fear that one day his life would fade away like he never even existed. Though he didn't show it Nanao knew Kyouraku taichou lived with that constant fear that one day, just like Lisa his friend would melt away.

During the winter war it seemed his fear would become a reality. Ukitake san was rushed into the emergency ward haven received a seemingly fatal injury. The captain returned from war tired and haggard but with a laughing smile on his face. Of course she hadn't been allowed to participate in the war as it would only inflict more damage on the captain's wounded soul if she got hurt. He helped out in setting the division back to order serving as a motivation for the other officers, but Nanao could tell he worried every day, if Ukitake san would ever leave that hospital room alive.

When the captain worried he showed no outerior signs of distress. He wore his usual smile and grimace. He'd chuckle lightly or smirk at another time, but during those times he'd talk less and drink more spending excess time dozing above the ground so she'd have to come looking for him. Many a time she wished she could run a soothing hand through his hair and promise him everything would be fine. If there was one thing she could do for her captain it was ensure her own safety above and leave no room for recklessness.

There was a moment when it seemed all of the captain's worries had come to an end.

It turned out Lisa had survived hollowfication and was living a fairly normal life as a Vizard, Ukitake taichou recovered from the wounds inflicted on him during the war, Yamamoto sou taichou was a little handicapped but as grumpy and healthy as ever, and she was well, alive, and always by her captain's side. Fate had finally provided for her captain a moment of peace and uplifting, and for once in such a long time, her captain's smile was very genuine and he spent his nights, and days annoyingly, sleeping like a carefree child.

She had prayed that those times would last forever……………….but it was not to be.

The Quincy war brought with a finality of destruction that shook the Seretei to the very core. Their very first unforgiveable act was ending the life of the head captain, Genryusai Yamamoto. He was like a father to Kyouraku taichou. He sat there at his funeral unmoving and sad his face unreadable and cold. Only she could see the despair buried within.

Not long after the Sou taichou's death he was elected to take the empty place as the head commander of the soul society's forces to guide them and lead them into a future. A future where his father figure was gone and where his best friend….no longer exists.

Ukitake taichou also passed during the Quincy war in a way no one expected. Not by old age, his sickness nor did he die on the battlefield. Ukitake taichou gave his life to resurrect the Soul king, supreme ruler of the entire soul society. No one else possessed the power to do so but Ukitake taichou, no one understood this more than Kyouraku taichou. They said their goodbyes and never saw each other again.

The Quincy war brought hell to everyone living within and outside of the Soul society. It was a war for dominance, for victory, for revenge. A call for peace, a fight for freedom, a fight like none before and the first time Ise Nanao stepped on to the battle field. It was her duty to stay alive for her captain's sake but first and foremost it was her duty to protect the future of the gotei 13! The future the people dearest to Kyouraku's heart died for and to defend it with her captain at her side was her greatest honour.

At the war's conclusion he was missing one eye and was rocking a new eye patch still looking dignified and regal as he sat before the graves of Yamamoto sou taichou and Ukitake taichou drinking sake.

''We sure came a long way didn't we Nanao chan'', he smiled without turning back to lookat her though he knew she was there.

What did he think of when he looked at those head stones? Nanao wondered as she stepped closer to her captain. She was vice captain to the captain commander now as he wouldn't leave her behind for anything. She was after all, all he had now, herself and the Gotei 13.

''Sou taichou is this really the time to drink sake?'', she scolded lightly.

''It's always time to drink sake, Nanao chaaan'', he laughed. ''Come now, if I don't drink with them who will. Ukitake and Yama jii will be pretty lonely if I didn't bring them any''.

His smile faltered and he set down the sake bottle gently letting out a heavy sigh.

''They've gone too far out of my reach now, so let me at least share this drink with them…..Nanao chan''', the captain whispered adjusting his hat.

That voice…that tone…it was as familiar as her own. She knew him as well as she knew the very beat of her heart. They'd been together long enough for one to call them father and daughter, yet even finding out she was his niece had changed nothing about how she felt for her captain, for Kyouraku taichou, for….Kyouraku….Shunsui.

''Shunsui'', she whispered and he turned in surprise probably expecting to see either Ukitake or Yamamoto himself from the way she'd called his name.

His eyes were wide in surprise as she'd never called him that before.

''Nanao…chan'', he blinked in slight confusion. He could not understand the look on her face. It was a look she rarely wore.

''Daijoubu (It's fine), Shunsui'', she smiled down at him. ''Daijoubu, Kyouraku taichou. I'm here and I promise not to leave your side, if you promise, never to leave mine''.

Her words were soft as she bent so she could look into her captain's eye then hesitanly she leaned forward so her lips could touch his, and much less hesitantly, he kissed her back.

As long as it was just the two of them, for no matter how long, as her duty and the call of her heart, she would always be there as the shoulder to cry on, or the lover to embrace.


End file.
